Key Life Lessons
In honour of my 26th birthday, this week’s blog will be a list of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned over the years. To everyone reading, maybe you can relate to any of these. Whether you’ve learned one of these lessons in the past or currently going through one.
At first glance, some might sound silly and obvious, but as I always try to emphasize, we all have a different story. I’m hoping to give you all a bit of understanding and a slight look into my unique journey.
1. You’re beautiful
I grew up in an area where black people were a minority. At my elementary school, I was the only black girl amongst all white kids.
Story Time: My mom always put me in the greatest matching outfits and made sure my hair was always beautifully done. Without having the conversation, I later figured out that my mom always wanted to make sure I didn’t feed the negative stereotype that some people might have (dirty, poor, lesser then). I never felt different or unpopular; on the contrary, I had a great upbringing with lots of friends and great memories. The positive upbringing was not due to the clothes I wore or my freshly pressed hair. It was the positive affirmations my mom instilled in me from an early age. “I am beautiful just the way I am no matter what anyone else said”.
Not everyone will relate to this experience but to my fellow black women reading this, we know the struggle! The reality is that there is a negative beauty standard when it comes to black women, and the time spent in school is mainly when we begin to question our own beauty in comparison to others.
When it came to high school, things changed drastically and it became a lot more challenging to keep a positive outlook when I constantly got compared to other girls. The worst was being hit with “you’re so pretty for a black girl”….ya, I heard that a whole lot.
I thank god for giving me such a great support system of amazing black women in my family to keep reminding me of what true beauty looks like!
2. I was born to lead
This lesson was learned in my final high school years entering university. Following the trends or whatever my friends were doing, didn’t make me cool. Especially since it didn't fall in line with my values or beliefs. I’d rather be weird all by myself because if I’m judged by others, that’s on them. I am being true to myself and will never apologize for that.
3. Not everyone is your friend
University days were rough…by rough, I mean wild party days. Within that time and moving forward I learned that not everyone is your friend. People come and go during your life, take it for what it is. Don’t trust so easily and only keep the ones who are truly there for you.
4. Our parents are human first
Understanding that your idols are not exempt from making human mistakes. I’ve written an entire blog post about this. Check it out!
5. Trying to change people, only changes you
5a. Growing up sometimes means growing apart
5b. No relationship is worth sacrificing your peace
5c. Never settle
I tied all of these lessons together because they were all learned around the same period. One relationship gave me so much perspective and truly shaped how I approached the dating world. I will one-day share details about this moment in my life to shed some light on how every woman MUST go through one relationship that changes you forever (for the better). Until then, I will just say that we all know in our gut when something isn’t right. We can force it all we want, but our intuition will always gauge right from wrong even when we don’t want to follow it. The day you decide to make a decision, it won't be because anyone in your life told you to. You will wake up and want better because you know you deserve better!
6. Job vs. Career
In the working world, making connections is a valuable part of networking and helps with getting certain JOBS, BUT in my experience, there’s more value in gaining skills and having a great work ethic which is what will build your CAREER.
7. Prioritizing your happiness isn’t selfish
Practicing space and boundaries has been a life-changer for me. Especially in recent years, I’ve had to evaluate areas of my life and reassess relationships, life choices, habits, and friendships. Deciding what is best for you is always going to be the better choice in the end.
8. What’s meant for you will always be yours
Maintaining my relationship with God has been the most beneficial for my heart and soul. Trusting God’s plan for my life has helped me continue living with no regret and peace of mind. Everything happens for a reason.
↓ Let me know which lessons resonate with you the most in the comments ↓
I would love to hear your story!