Coupled in Quarantine

Let’s talk about being coupled in quarantine people. This might be triggering for some of you navigating through a tough situation, but this post is to remind you that you are not in this alone. On the flip side, for those who have experienced the opposite effect, this post is for you too! This pandemic has affected us all in so many different ways but let’s focus on the relationship between you and your boo (or ex-boo...sorry)!I believe that the best way to express the different facets of the effects of lockdown on relationships was to explore a variety of situations. With the help of some fellow bloggers, I’m able to share a few short stories elaborating on how isolation has either brought them and their partners closer together, further apart or on a roller coaster ride…COVID STORIES

My boyfriend and I first met in December and we decided fairly quickly to make our relationship official. We knew to be over 700 miles apart while both in university was going to be tough. I am in London and he is in Scotland, but it worked. Over the next couple of months, my boyfriend planned to come to visit me about once a month. We were coming up to the second visit when the lockdown started looking like a longer-term situation. I was meant to be going up to Scotland to see him for Easter break, but with COVID in mind, I decided to change my flight to travel earlier before getting stuck.

In the first few weeks, my boyfriend also found himself out of work. That is stressful in itself but on the other hand, it meant we got to spend amazing quality time together. Now that he is back at work, our days have been more structured and it’s going amazingly well. From another angle, this experience has also helped me put to rest some worries I had. Mainly the fear of being seen at my worst; like when I have migraines, cramps, or am just generally grumpy.

All in all, being in isolation with my boyfriend this early into our relationship was a surprising twist, but turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. We were managing long-distance great, but it is so reassuring to know you can also live with the person you love, and it is as great as you had hoped. - Naomi

Instagram | @naomi_chattington

My husband and I have been married for 9 years now. We are having not only an interracial but also intercontinental marriage. He works in the airline industry in the US, which makes it easier for him to come home on a regular base. When things first got locked down and the international borders closed, my husband wasn't able to visit us anymore for nearly 2 months. This was difficult, especially since our kids suffered under this circumstance.

Thankfully, once it started opening up, he came back and has been here for almost 2 months now. I must say, that it has been a big help. We all adjusted quickly to the new situation and everything fell into place with no disputes at all! He helps with the kids, and cooking dinner, and he is very hands-on at our farm. COVID gave us a break from life to spend more time with our children as a family.  Unfortunately, he has to leave again and we don't know where things will go from there. The future holds a black hole for us and we just have to take it one day at a time. Since we cannot change the situation, we just have to make the best of it! - Susanne

Instagram | @liltigers3

Blog | www.liltigers.net

As a couple who works together and has been faced with so many challenges already, things have not been smooth. We were at a point where the stress and different points of view were creating friction in our household. It was the daily frustrations that looked like me constantly taking deep breaths and my partner rolling his eyes.

In the beginning, I had the flu and I was almost sure I had caught coronavirus. I have an autoimmune condition and an asthmatic child at home. You can imagine how stressed out and overwhelmed I was. It did not help that my husband kept working a few days after the closure was ordered. Why? Because he felt that he needed to seize the opportunity to make money. I was ready to tell him that he should look for another place to stay if he was planning on going in and out of the house and putting me and our children at risk. Fortunately, he came back from work one day and told me he had closed the business. That’s when I knew we were in it for the long haul.

Now being in complete isolation, I realized that we had never been together, just us, doing nothing, during our entire relationship! We finally got to discover the beauty of not having external forces and stresses to address on a daily basis. As the weeks passed, we tapped into our true selves that had been buried under chores and obligations for so long. We totally reconnected, and have been amazing ever since. Most of all, we realigned our ideas, our values, a

nd our priorities, to now be able to start stepping back into the world with a common vision. We are happier and more peaceful than ever. - Arlene

Instagram | @arlenedeangelis

Blog | www.arlenedeangelis.com

No one says that raising a newborn is easy. But, no one also mentioned that on top of the sleep deprivation, the process of healing from birth, and the difficulty of learning how to navigate parenthood, would there be a strain on your relationship. You see, my husband and I had a child on the precipice of the COVID outbreak. When we were ordered to shelter inside, my son was only 10 days old. This meant that we could not lean on our tribe to come over and help raise our babe (and allow us to catch up on much-needed sleep). The isolation and sleep deprivation weighed heavy on my husband and I. There were many times that I cried for almost no apparent reason other than being stuck at home. I would snap at my husband because anything he tried to do didn't seem good enough. 

The inability to ask for outside help truly put a strain on our relationship. My attitude had gotten so bad that he decided to go back to work for a week. I quickly realized that I needed him and apologized profusely. However, after two weeks of strict quarantining, and a lot of begging on my part, we decided to open our doors to my mother and father. I felt that I needed extra help. Not only to raise my son but for my sanity and the well-being of 

my marriage. Simply having the option to see my mother alleviated much of the stress that I allowed to build up inside of me. 

My husband and I also made sure that faith was a priority in our household. No matter what, we were both up and ready to stream our church's services in the morning. It helped to keep our bond strengthened, no matter how weak it seemed by the end of the week. We learned that while we must make sure to make each other a priority, it is also important to let others in to help! The isolation has made us appreciate our tribe, and our family, that much more. - Cherish

Now, you might be thinking, Pascale, what about you? After reading these stories prior to publishing, I realized that I saw small pieces of myself in every story. If you really want to get into the nitty-gritty, subscribe to the blog so you know when I post my full story.Moral of the story: Whether it be make-up or break-up, what this pandemic is giving to all of us is TIME. Time to slow down, time to reflect, time to reassess time to breathe!Whichever way you choose to utilize this time, is up to you, but it would be a shame to not use it to your advantage. Particularly for relationships, this time might be exactly what you need to reconnect with the one you love or address those core issues you’ve been able to avoid in the past with external distractions. Make-ups are just as beautiful as break-ups. You might not understand that right away, but eventually, you will see how peace of mind and choosing yourself is the ultimate win!

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